Integrated Nepalese Citizen Card

.....Fully integrated ID card system for Nepalicitizens

A customer is trying to order pizza from Bakery Cafe

Customer: "Heloo , Heloo , can I order.."

Operator : "Can I have your multi purpose ID card number first , Sir?"

Customer: "It's he... , hold..........on......889861356102049998-45-54610"

Operator : "OK... You're... Mr Shrestha and you're calling from Baneshwor Kathmandu. Your home number is 22678893 , your office 25076666 and your mobile is 09869798888. Today morning you landed in Kathmandu at TribhuvanInternational Airport . Welcome back , Sir. Which number are you calling from now Sir?"

Customer: "Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?

Operator : "We are connected to the system Sir"

Customer: "May I order your Seafood Pizza..."

Operator : "That's not a good idea Sir"

Customer: "How come?"

Operator : "According to your medical records , you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir"

Customer: "What?... What do you recommend then?"

Operator : "Try our Low Fat Pizza. You'll like it"

Customer: "How do you know for sure?"

Operator : "You borrowed a book entitled "Popular Dishes" from the National Library last week Sir"

Customer: "OK I give up... Give me three family size ones then , how much will that cost?"

Operator : "That should be enough for your family of 05 , Sir. The total is Rs 500.00"

Customer: "Can I pay by! Credit card?"

Operator : "I'm afraid you have to pay us cash , Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank Rs 23 , 000.75 since October last year. That's not including the late payment charges on your housing loan , Sir.."

Customer: "I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives"

Operator : "You can't Sir. Based on the records , you've reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today"

Customer: "Never mind just send the pizzas , I'll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?"

Operator : "About 45 minutes Sir , but if you can't wait you can always come and collect it on your Fz Bike..."

Customer: " What!"

Operator : "According to the details in system , you own a Nano car , ...registration number Ba 105 ka 2025.."

Customer: " ????"

OperatorBlogger: MiLeStOnE - Create Post : "Is there anything else Sir?"

Customer: "Nothing... By the way... Aren't you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?"

Operator : "We normally would Sir , but based on your records you're also diabetic....... "

Customer: #$$^%&$@$% ^

Operator : "Better watch your language Sir.. Remember on 15th July 2010 you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman...?"

Customer: [Faints]

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Top 100 MBA Colleges!!

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लभ पर्दै परेन !!

कालीले I love u, भन्दै भनिन

खैरिनीले झन, गन्दै गनिन

Mexicon ले Hug गरी, गाला सम्म दलेकै

होथरुनी जस्ती Ethiyopian देख्दा, तेस्रो नेत्र नि बलेकै हो

Department बेग्लै, भेट्नै गारों

त्यस्को English नि, बुझ्नै सारो

मन त बिस्तारै मिल्थ्यो होला, पाईला कसैको सर्दै सरेन ।

अनि त के पर्नु लभ, पर्दै परेन ।।

नेपाली केटीलाई New mexico, थाहै छैन जस्तो छ

Class जाउँ कालो face,बाक्लो जुँगै सस्तो छ

एक दुई वटी Local खैरिनी,आक्कल झुक्कल देखेकै हो

कपडा लाउनै अल्छी गर्छन्, हाम्रो खप्पराँ नि लेखेकै हो

Coffee बोकी skateboard चढ्नेले, खै हाम्लाई के गन्लान् ?

जानै मानेनि चुरोट तान्नेलाई, बा'ले बुहारी कसरी भन्लान् ?

यस्तै सोची खैरिनी ताक्ने, छोराले आँट गर्दै गरेन ।

आँट्न र ढाँट्न नजान्नेको, के पर्नु लभ पर्दै परेन ।।

Gay भन्छन् रे सँगै हिडे, केटासँग हिड्नै नपाइने रैछ

ईज्जतै धान्न नि हात समाई हिड्ने, एउटी तरुनी त चाइने रैछ

Bike को त कुरै छाडौं, car किन्न नि डलर मरु

Hight तन्केन Body फुलेन, बुढेसकालमा खै के गरुँ ?

दिनहुँ नुहाई zatak नै छरे

निखौरेर दारी, सिनित्तै परे नि

English छाँट्न पर्ने देशमा, नेपाली गफले कामै गरेन ।

अनि त भुत्रो को पर्नु लभ, पर्दै परेन ।।

Courtsey!!

ANISH ADHIKARI

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Happy Valentine!!! History behind it.

Today is 14th Feb, The lover’s day. The Valentine Day. Everybody knows about this day from the very day he knew the meaning of love and hardly misses this day unnoticed any year. Yes, there might be case for many; this day does not make any difference. But still he/she wishes it to be special and at least remembers the dear ones or tries to scan the past love life. For those having the affair, it is a day of surprise and suspense. It’s just like extravaganza for them and a day just like an anniversary.

Every day has its own history, so does this Valentine day. So I was so curious lately to know the hidden suspense of this day and here is the story.

The first legend, and perhaps the best known, began in Rome, when the Emperor, Claudius II, was involved in many bloody and unpopular campaigns. “Claudius the Cruel” as he as called, was having a difficult time getting soldiers to join his military leagues.

He believed that the reason was that Roman men did not want to leave their loves or families. So, he canceled all marriages and engagements in Rome!

The good Saint Valentine, who was a priest in Rome, in the year 269 A.D., together with his friend Saint Marius, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret.When Valentine's actions were discovered, he was sentenced to be beaten to death with clubs and to have his head cut off.

But while in prison, it is believed that Valentine fell in love with a young girl, who may have been his jailor's daughter, who visited him during his confinement. Before his death on the 14th day of February, it is alleged that he wrote her a letter, which he signed

"From your Valentine"

In 496 A.D., Pope Gelasius set aside February 14 to honor St. Valentine.

Another legend says that Valentine's Day started ...

In ancient Rome, on February 14th, a holiday to honor Juno. Juno was the Queen of the Roman Gods and Goddesses. The Romans also knew her as the Goddess of women and marriage. Then, the following day, February 15th, began the Feast of Lupercalia.

In those days, the lives of young boys and girls were strictly separate. However, on the eve of the festival of Lupercalia, the names of Roman girls were written on slips of paper and placed into jars. Each young man would draw a girl's name from the jar and would then be partners for the duration of the festival with the girl whom he chose. Sometimes the pairing of the children lasted an entire year, and often, they would fall in love and would later marry.

I wish you all very happy Valentine day with your especial one and may love flourish in your life for ever.

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Modern Maths: Something Funny!!

We might have learned so many theorems, postulates and axioms and also solved a lot many equations to prove each.These all are the old and traditional one. Here is something funny related to Modern Maths. It seems funny but makes sense. Check once..

Equation 1

Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy

Donkey = eat + sleep


Therefore,

Human = Donkey + work + enjoy


Therefore,

Human - enjoy = Donkey + work


In other words,

Human that don't know enjoy = Donkey that work

===================================================

Equation 2


Men = eat + sleep + earn money

Donkeys = eat + sleep


Therefore,

Men = Donkeys + earn money


Therefore,

Men - earn money = Donkeys


In other words,

Men that don't earn money = Donkeys

====================================================

Equation 3


Women = eat + sleep + spend

Donkeys = eat + sleep


Therefore,

Women = Donkeys + spend


Therefore,

Women - spend = Donkeys


In other words,

Women that don't spend = Donkeys

=====================================================

To Conclude:


From Equation 2 and Equation 3

Men that don't earn money = Women that don't spend.


So, Men earn money not to let women become Donkeys! (Postulate 1)

And, Women spend not to let men become Donkeys! (Postulate 2)


So, we have…

Men + Women = Donkeys + earn money + Donkeys + spend money


Therefore…from Postulates 1 and 2, we can conclude

Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys that live happily together!

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Nepali Flag in my Blog!!!

I am so surprised to see Nepali Flag displayed automatically in my blog for the 1st time. But its not a miracle nor it is a nightmare and neither it is a Black Magic. It is just a coincidence one more time.

All the seven flags of SAARC nations are there with the name South Asian Public Health forum.It might be the intellectuality of Google Adsense server because it was displayed in my blog in 26th Jan, The Republic Day of India. Actually Google puts the ads dynamically depending on the contents and geographical location. I don't know it also equally takes care of the especial occasion.

Advertisement of SAARC Forum in Nepali Blog in the Indian's Replublic day. Isn't it the Coincidence once again. I felt so glad that google identified my blog as Nepali Blog.

FYI. flag marked with red in the above pics is my Nation's Flag.
Only one of its Kind among all.

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www.alapot.blogspot.com is upgraded to www.alapot.com

After more than one and half years in my blogging journey, I launched my blog with my own .com dropping the blogspot from my url. Now i am available in www.alapot.com, a short and sweet name. But those who are accustomed with www.alapot.blogspot.com also dont have to worry about because that will also redirect to my same blog. I did this just to get rid of blogspot from readers views but still I am hosting my blog from same blogspot as i feel it simple and easy and also may be sort of mutual harmony. In fact,Blogspot.com is the MiLeStOnE for me in bloggosphere.

Initially I faced few problems in publishing my blog with new domain name and may be many of my dear readers might have faced ERROR 404 while logging into my blog. It was due to same technical errors and also delay in transition.Now it is working fine.

Most of my readers may be wondering about my blog url www.alapot.com. What actually alapot is all about.. Is it the nick name of mine??or something else.. Still a big question mark.. Whatsoever it may be.. It's a MiLeStoNe for me and my life. I will come to you with next post elaborating detail about it.Big mystery behind a small thing. Till then enjoy reading alapot.com.

I would like to thank Hem and Prajwal who helped(insisted) me lot to get upgraded to alapot.com from alapot.blogspot.com. I also like to thank all my well-wishers who consistently helped me to make gradual improvement in the quality and look of my blog with their comments and suggestion and looking forward the same in future.

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